Dr. Warren FarrellWhy Men Are the Way They Are

Why Men Are the Way They Are

Selected excerpts from readers' reviews on Why Men Are the Way They Are
and Dr.
Warren Farrell
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31 of 34 people found the following review helpful:
5starsMust Read, December 6, 1999 By Paul Scott (The West Coast,) - See all my reviews
An absolute must read, for both sexes: things you always suspected were true, but never, ever dared say out loud. Sanity in printed form. I have given 30 or so copies of this book to friends, and all have said it made blindingly clear the basic assumptions underlying what men and women do to each other. It WILL cure your love life. I have found that the book helps me see what is going on in social and business situations in a way so straightfoward and enlightening that I sometimes break out laughing from sheer astonishment. Best of all, the machinations of both female and male enforcers of certain societal obligations will seem just quaint. AND IT HAS CARTOONS!

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5stars This book is the key to understanding men., October 6, 1998 By A Customer
I used to complain that men wouldn't open up. Now I can't get them to shut up. I'm kidding of course, I love it that men feel comfortable enough to confide in me. I can't count the number of times men have said,"I feel very comfortable talking to you." It wasn't always this way though. Men's behavior used to baffle me. I'm not saying that I completely understand men now, but this book has given me priceless insight. Because of it, relationships with the men in my life are a hundred times closer. Believe it or not, they often tell me what's bothering them. They listen to me more than ever before. Although I do still get into arguments with men, the battle goes much smoother and is usually resolved. Men feel close to someone when they feel understood. The key to understanding men is reading this book. It has impacted my outlook on the world more than almost any other book (paralleled only by "The Myth of Male Power").

16 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5starsgreat for gender relations, June 16, 2002
By Neel Aroon "jaroon7648" (Lexington, KY United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)
This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)
This is an important book for both men and women to read. For men, it can help them to better understand who they are. For women, it will provide a way to better understand the men in their lives. Why men are the way they are provides coverage of important topics. It deals with why men act the way they do like thier preocuption with success and sex. In the last part of the book, reweaving masculanity, Warren Farrell provides ways to better understand masculanity for both men and women. It shows some of the postive traits of masculanity as well as how to deal with men. In the part new sexism, Warren Farrell provies a good account of how male bashing has come the topic of humor but female bashing has become sexist and why both are wrong.
Overall, it's a good for both genders to help each other.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5stars One of the greatest books of this century, August 21, 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)
Why Men Are the Way They Are is one of the most wonderful books I've ever read in my life. Warren Farrell tells you everything you need to know about how to be a winner in your relationships with the other sex. His brilliant insights are presented with clarity, wit, and wisdom and are adorned with cartoons from Cathy, which makes the reading even more run. An unforgettable masterpiece.

5stars Women, dissatisfied with your man? Read this book!, August 8, 2005
By Constance A. Brennen (Michigan) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)
This is the 4th or 5th time I've had to order this book. I have loaned it out so many times, that I no longer purchase just one.

My husband and I read it when it first came out - and were both astonished. I'm still astonished that something so politically incorrect could have become a best-seller. Yet when I read it, I knew intuitively that Farrell was right; reverse sexism is rampant -and it's true - one can make a joke about a white male that would be considered racist, sexist,etc. were it made about anyone else. It's everywhere.

I loved the way Farrell illustrated his points - following advertising, television, popular reading. He pointed out how women have learned to demand more and more, while men are still baffled about what they thought women wanted in the first place.The tragedy is that women really believe that they MUST have a sensitive, caring man....who is also an Alpha male! The impossibility of meeting such contradictory demands confuses men AND women who do not see that their "needs" are really "wants" and are incredibly unrealistic - which sets them up for disappointment and pain in relationships.

I'm a therapist, and this book is required reading for anyone in couples counseling. I have also recommended it to countless newly divorced men still reeling with the injustice of it all. In addition, women often find the book freeing - for it gives them permission to love and accept their human husbands - and to re-examine their own often skewed values.

Nice job, Dr. Warren Farrell - and you did it without mentioning drumming even once. Thanks.

Connie Brennen

15 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5stars read this book, March 14, 2003
By Timothy E. LaMacchio (Highland Ranch, Colorado United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)
First introduced to Mr. Warren Farrell’s books at the age of 18 I responded with righteous indignation, "just a man making excuses" for his behavior and discarded the book. Now age 35 I have read every book he has written. His writings changed my relationship with myself (as a man), every man in my life (father, brothers grandfathers, friends and strangers) and woman in my life. I consider my vocabulary inadequate to accurately articulate the quality and integrity of Mr. Ferrell's thoughts and conclusions. Although many of Warren Farrell's ideas are contrary to common thinking --- 100 percent of his conclusions are consistent with my experience as a growing man. Purchase this book for yourself and all others that you love.

5stars I'm a masculist now, March 15, 2011
By Mary E. Davies (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews(REAL NAME)
This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)
I kept seeing it on my friend's stack. But how many books about men and relationships does a woman need to read? Don't I know enough?

Ultimately, I couldn't resist.

If I weren't such a TV snob, I'd have heard 25 years ago of author Warren Farrell and "the provocative book that sparked so much controversy on the Phil Donahue and Oprah Winfrey shows!"

I wish I had.

Here's the chief point: The feminist movement as I know it, the movement of the '60s and '70s, framed the battles in a way that, like most wars I suppose, simply set the stage for more conflict. Because instead of settling for equality for ourselves, we let our anger and pain into channels where we cut men down. We wanted men to be less than us.

For most of us, it was subtle. We didn't give up men; we still wanted them. But secretly, we felt we were better. Remember "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"? We still feel we're better.

I do love men, but even so, his chapter, "What I love most about men," has been alive in me since I read it.

First, a man wrote those words, "what I love about men"! We haven't really yet made a society where a straight man can say that. And it's not just the men who would find it embarrassing.

And then the things he lists. We women know what we love about us: we're good listeners, nurturing, able to work long hours at jobs and at home, determined to exercise and eat right so we'll look and feel good, and so on.

But when we read Warren Farrell’s list, we see mostly things we take for granted. Driving the car, for example.

In couples I've been part of, the assumption is, he'll drive. When it's late and you're both tired. When the weather is scary. When traffic is endless. If the woman drives, it's because he asks her to do what both assume is his job.

Which is exactly the kind of taken-for-granted attitude women in the '60s and '70s were so annoyed and angry about: The assumption that a man in the kitchen is doing a favor.

Farrell points out that when men try to solve our problems and want to fix things for us, it's nurturing behavior. I complain when a man jumps over the listening phase to the problem-solving phase, but I'm not sure I'd ever have gotten my cupboard hung straight if my hero had just sat there nodding sympathetically as I explained my problems with the electric drill. Plus, I've found when I ask a man for some listening, I get it.

Biggest of all, Farrell says women put men in a bind. We gripe if work keeps them too busy, too tired, on the road, competitive, but men know women like guys with nice cars and homes, men who buy good champagne and plane tickets to Paris. And you don't get that kind of financial success and security without making work a priority.

I drive a 1996 Corolla, my sweetheart a slightly younger Subaru. I like this. I think it shows a commonality of values. But last summer when I flew home from Mom's in Michigan, his car had broken down and he picked me up at the airport in his son's flashy new sportscar convertible, top down. I rolled my carry-on out of Arrivals, expecting the Subaru, and there was this handsome guy waving at me beside his splendid car and -- I felt it!

Just for a moment, but I felt it.

I'm thinking about dating. Those poor guys! We women complain about dating, the uncertainty and the disappointments, but the guys have all that plus the expense. Almost every woman I know believes a guy ought to pick up the tab for the first date -- at least!

And even if that's just coffee and a pastry, we're talking $10-20.

We think we're so advanced if we tell a man we want to pay our share or even to treat occasionally. But does a man get credit for enlightenment if he suggests you split the tab?

So, thanks Dr. Warren Farrell. I'm going to be a masculist now. Which isn't even a word.

Exactly my point.

Interviews with Warren Farrell about Why Men Are the Way They Are